


Ask Alice

by sideraclara (angeloscastiel)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: HPFT, Harry Potter Next Generation, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-21 23:10:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9570986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angeloscastiel/pseuds/sideraclara
Summary: six overachieving teenagers commit to solving all of Hogwarts' problems via an Ask Alice column in their new school newspaper.what could possibly go wrong?





	

It was a little-known fact about Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry that it housed a fully-functioning, if a little dusty and somewhat outdated, printing press. It had been brought into the school grounds by an enterprising Muggleborn named Timothy Walden in 1966, smuggled into a trunk thanks to a clumsy but effective Undetectable Extension Charm, and set up in a small room that looked to be a broom cupboard at first glance. From 1966 until hostilities within the school seemed to boil over in 1975, the printing press, staffed by a dedicated group of Muggleborns who spent their summers protesting social injustice in the streets of their hometowns, produced underground resistance literature in response to the growing pureblood fanaticism that was being prompted by Voldemort. By 1975 the Death Eaters were out in the open, and with the memorable words of “Well, you can’t talk the swastika off a Nazi,” the last editor of the pamphlet, Miss Jeannie Rapp, left her post after punching Evan Rosier in the face.

Nearly fifty years later, Roxanne Weasley stumbled across the printing press. Or, more accurately, Roxanne Weasley was dragged to the printing press by her brother Fred, who had been “perusing” the castle for underutilised spaces that “definitely weren’t for brewing contraband potions in” and, having found the printing press occupying some otherwise prime real estate, decided to point out the curiosity to his sister in exchange for her not telling any members of staff what he was doing there.

Filled with the sort of enthusiasm that only a new term could bring, as well as the deep and abiding fear of entering the job market with no practical experience or extracurricular activities of any kind on her CV, Roxanne stood on the Gryffindor table halfway through dessert and announced to the school via _Sonorous_ charm that she was starting a school newspaper, and for any interested parties to meet her tomorrow lunchtime by the tapestry of Fergus the Fat on the second floor.

That had been a week ago now, and Roxanne and her colleagues ( _colleagues,_ that sounded so grown up and important, didn’t it?) were crowded around the one table they’d managed to pilfer from an empty Transfiguration classroom, planning their first issue and claiming roles.

“Editor-in-chief,” Callaghan had told Roxanne on day two. “Not just editor. _In chief._ I’m going to make business cards.”

There were six of them in total – Roxanne; Callaghan; Lila the Ravenclaw, who was without a doubt the most attractive girl to ever walk the halls of Hogwarts; Harry, whose name was the unfortunate byproduct of the postwar obsession with heroes; Louis, who threw the words “the arts” into every sentence he spoke; and Molly, the Intern. They were all, of course, secondary school students who weren’t being paid a cent, and it didn’t make the slightest bit of sense to have an Intern, but Molly was a fifth year, so by virtue of being two years everyone’s junior, she was the Intern. She seemed happy enough to be included.

“Do you know what we’re missing?” Callaghan asked suddenly.

“A budget?”

“Other than that, Roxanne.”

“An office?”

“Not what I was going for, Lila.”

“Resources?”

“Well, yes, Harry, but – ”

“A _vision_.”

“Fuck up, Louis. I mean for the _paper_. What do students _need_ most of all?”

“Lives?”

“Sleep?”

“The means of production?”

“ _The arts.”_

Callaghan slumped over in defeat, his forehead hitting the table with a resounding thud.

“What about an advice column?” Molly the Intern suggested in the ensuing silence. “Like, students can write in anonymously with their problems, and we can give advice.”

“Molly the Intern, you’re beautiful.” Callaghan lifted his head from the table and started a slow clap. “This girl is the future of our newspaper, fam. She _gets_ it. What the students _need_. What’s going to make them pick up their paper on a Wednesday morning – ”

“Wednesday?” Roxanne repeated. “Are you saying we have two days to get our entire first edition ready and printed?”

“Oh, did I not mention that?” Callaghan frowned. “Then yes. Roxanne, you’re features, d’you reckon you could get a write-up done about the history of the press for our first issue? I reckon that’d be neat. Harry, you’re doing each house’s Quidditch tryouts, yeah?”

“Yeah, they’re all done except Ravenclaw, they’re having theirs tonight at five.”

“It’s ten to, you’d better get out there. Louis, can you get some designs done for the layout and we’ll see how they work tomorrow with the content? Great. Lila?”

“Almost done with my section.”

“Good. Molly, since it was your idea, you can write up the announcement for the advice column and invite students to submit questions to us. We can call it – I dunno – Ask Alice.”

Molly the Intern beamed.

“Oh and also?”

“Yes?” she asked eagerly.

“See if you can steal us some tea and coffee from the staffroom, will you?”


End file.
